A Wise Friend . . .

What a great time we had last night! I am so excited that our time of fellowship and prayer requests went so long. I really look forward to watching the second half of the video with you next week.

I can tell that next week is going to hit hard for me. I tend to have a lot of surface level friendships, but I have a hard time letting people in. I've been hurt in the past and sometimes it's just easier to put up a wall. The funny part for me is that my wall is almost invisible. I'd tell a complete stranger almost everything about me - I don't believe in secrets - I believe in who I am so very much of the time, I think even my surface level friends would have no idea that I'm not "letting them in". I'm excited to learn how I can put my guard down so bring on the conviction! =0)

Here are the prayer requests for the week:

Denise - please pray for John and Kelsey as they are not feeling well

Natalalija - please pray that she recovers from her cold quickly.

Tracie - Please pray for Gabriel, he is teething and his teeth seem to be bothering him a lot. She is looking for a church this week, please pray that things go well. Also, please pray for her husband Chris - he is significantly overweight and she is concerned that he will get sick like his mom due to his weight gain. Chris also has a side business and he is working a lot to get that up and running. Please pray that his side business would prosper so that he can quit his full time job. Please also pray for her sister, Trisha, who has recently started a business making cakes and decorating letters. She's had quite a few new customers, please pray that he business will continue to grow

Tiffani - she and mom are transferring their college credits to another college - please pray that everything goes well and that there's no issue with her financial aid.

Connie - please pray for strength for her daughter who is going through a separation from her husband. Please also pray for an improved financial situation for their family.

Crystal - praise report for my beautiful sister's positive attitude; just being around her last night was so encouraging to me. I also pray for a hedge of protection around her this week. I pray that people are loving and accepting of her as she looks for a church and also as she tries to launch her pampered chef business. please pray that we follow God when it comes to our family, church, and business. And ugh . . . I hate to ask for this or even admit it, but I am experiencing some overwhelming feelings of depression this afternoon. I KNOW that I will be able to do so, but I have an especially hard week coming up in two weeks and I don't even want to face it. It makes me physically sick to even think about trying to get out of it, but my attitude isn't even close to what it should be. Please pray for me.

Luisa - her brother-in-law's friend has eczema and the treatments are hurting her more than the actual eczema. Please pray that she is healed quickly and that they are able to discover if something like a food allergy is causing her issue.

Lynn - please pray for her friend Julio's salvation and also that he would be released from his addictions to alcohol and pornography

Kelly Jo - please continue to pray that the nightmares go away. They are lessening but they are still there. Please also pray for safe travel this week =0)

We are also planning to get together at the pool at my house on Sunday if any of you are interested in coming. Also, bible study will be on Tuesday for the next two weeks.

in His love,
crystal

Prayer Request

Please keep my Aunt Carolyn in your prayers. She was taken by ambulance to Methodist Hospital last night. We were hoping that she just needed a battery for her pacemaker, but unfortunately she has pneumonia.

The Heart of Wisdom

Well I don't know about you ladies, but I am enjoying the bible study so far. This week, Beth Moore said 'Sometimes we can't change our circumstances, but we can put our hope in God and change our attitude'. That is particularly relevant for me as I go through a transition period in my life. I need to confess my sin of sitting around and griping about my situation. I need to focus my efforts toward working out this issue with my God, my Savior, my friend. I don't need to vent to those around me, I need to spend focused time in prayer, crying out to God, and trusting Him to handle my situation. There is no one on earth like God, no one who knows me so well, no one who understands how and why I hurt. My prayer for all of us is that we will learn to trust God when our circumstances are less than ideal. This weekend, and especially Monday, please keep all of us ladies in your prayers. Remember those of us who struggle with coming. Our enemy seeks to destroy us and I believe that he would want nothing more than for our group to fall apart. The fellowship and encouragement is such an important part of my week and I love each of you dearly. I look forward to seeing you Monday! Here are the prayer requests . . . sorry for the delay!

Connie seeks guidance with what she's supposed to be doing with her business

Denise asks for prayer for her husband who is getting over an infection

Tiffani asks for prayer for her husband because he seems to be coming around; please ask that God delivers him from his addiction to drugs

Please pray that Tracie will get over her fears and learn to enjoy bible study

Please pray that Luisa can keep trusting God with her family and that she will rely on the fact that Jesus came to give us life more abundantly. Please pray that she will rest in God and trust Him totally

Nat asks for prayer for her sister who has been a long time drug addict and also for prayers that she's successful in her substance abuse program. Please also keep her parents in your prayers as they struggle with feelings of guilt and failure.

Please pray that Mark and I will be obedient to God and His desire for our life. Please pray that we will work as though working for the Lord and not for man. Pray that we will be faithful with what God has called us to do. Pray that we will be loving and forgiving when people behave differently than we expect. Help us remember that God is in control. Please also pray for Mark as he has had a very tough time this week. He is discouraged and I absolutely abhor seeing him like this. Please pray that our church finds a worship leader quickly or that God works miraculously in our midst. Please pray for those in our congregation who are struggling with our lack of being able to commit to this church for the next two years, help them remember that God's plan is way better than our plan.

Kelly Jo asks for her nightmares to go away. She also asks for prayer for her mom and for safe travel as they come back to town next weekend! =0)

Lynn - please pray for her husband Brooke - he has been having chest pains.

Thanks ladies!!! I look forward to seeing you very soon =0)

in His love,
crystal

New Bible Study . . . Yay!

Hi ladies!!! I'm so excited to be starting a new study with all of you. Wising Up by Beth Moore seems like it's going to be really cool. I'm looking forward to studying the book of Proverbs in depth over the next 14 weeks. Reading "So Long Insecurity You've Been a Bad Friend" with you was really awesome. I feel like I walked away from that book with tools I can use to help me recognize and overcome my insecurities and I hope that each of you feel the same. If you haven't finished it, you need to! I promise that you won't regret it! =0)

Our bible study is amazing! Thank you so much for being part of this journey. I can't believe that we've taken it to the internet!!! If any of you have friends from far away who are interested in joining us via Skype, feel free to let me know =0)

Here are the prayer requests for 5.9.11

Nat asks for success for the personal issues her sister is dealing with.

Luisa asks that her husband would listen to God to know what His will is for their future.

Tiffani asks for discipline with food

Connie asks for favor with finances and to be healed of her cough

Tanvir asks for a less hectic work schedule over the next year

Crystal asks for peace and comfort for her family and her church as they transition out of the praise and worship leader position, and also that they will be able to discern God's will over the next few weeks

Kelly Jo asks for safe travel plans as they come back and visit at the end of this month

Lynn asks that God reveals His will and direction for our lives and also that her husband learns to rely on God in difficult situations

Ladies, thank you so much for being part of my life. I love each and everyone of you and I'm so glad that God put me in your path. May your week be blessed beyond measure.

in His love,
crystal

Prayer Request

Prayer Request for a friend of a friend, Larry, and his children Adlee 6, Taylor 4, and Garren 1 - they lost their wife and mommy today. Ladies, please pray for this sweet family =(

Prayer Requests - March 21, 2011

Hello ladies!!! It's been forever since I've posted. Last night was such a sweet time of prayer and fellowship. I am really looking forward to studying James with all of you over the next two weeks. I pray that God gives us wisdom and knowledge and the ability to apply all that we read.

Here are the prayer requests:

Kelly - please pray that the Lord will heal her from the inside out and help her realize that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. Help her learn to love herself and not fear who she could become, but instead see who she is and who she can be in You. Help her realize that with you it is completely possible that she never turn out like her mother. Pray that the next two and a half weeks are a de-stressed as possible and that everything goes smoothly as the wedding approaches. Pray for grace to be extended where things don't flow smoothly.

Kelly's mom - please pray that she is healed of her unforgiveness and whatever causes her so much pain.

Lynn's mom - please pray that she also is healed of everything going on in her life.

Lynn - please pray for Brooke as he is dealing with a sickness while away from home. Please pray that God brings him comfort and heals him quickly.

Tiffani - please pray for her friend Haley - she's 7 months pregnant and has signs of pre-term labor

Luisa - please pray for the pain in Cassandra's eye to stay away

Tracie - please pray that her pampered chef party goes well and that God supernaturally intervenes to make it all that she needs it to be (big or small)

Connie - please pray for her family members as they go through some rough times. Please also pray for her grandson as he learns to potty train and also for her business.

Crystal - please pray for my business, that I will have time to focus on being patient with others and not easily angered. Please pray that Kelly Jo's bridal shower goes well and that she has a good time.

in His love,
crystal

Ladies. Please pray for kristi's gma-unresponsive-life flighted to St. Lukes

Please pray for Lynn's niece. Her 5 week old son died today. :(

Ladies, you continue to amaze me . . .

I cannot even begin to explain what each of you mean to me. I shouldn't be, but I am so surprised at this wonderful group of women God has brought together. We had such an amazing night of fellowship, great food and fun. I love you guys and I can't wait until next week.

in His love,
crystal

Prayer request

Hi ladies. Please keep my family in your prayers once again. My grandma passed away. We all expected this since grandpa just died. I'm hoping that the family will wait until I return for the funeral.

~crystal

Prayers for safety for my brother ...

Hello from Disney, ladies! I would really appreciate your prayers for my brother over the next five weeks. He works offshore and his next assignment to Africa is pretty dangerous. Here are the details:

28 days at sea. Crossing below Cuba and then across the Atlantic past liberia and Nigeria. 3 days in equatorial guinea and then two to four days traveling home. 4 days in pirate patrolled waters. Connecting flight in Paris or Amsterdam.

Thank you so much ladies. I've missed you and I very much look forward to seeing you Monday :)

~crystal

Trusting God

Thank you ladies for your prayers Monday night. You are such a blessing to me. God is working to show me that He is there for me, waiting on me to reach out & trust Him in a way I have not been able to do before. This is not an easy thing for me, but at least I can finally see that much.

It's amazing to me that I can thoroughly trust him in some ways, such as to provide for my family financially, but have great difficulty trusting him in other ways, such as described on p. 73. The gap - the difference between the two - is becoming hugely apparent as I read our book & see how & why I have the insecurities that I do. I can't help but wonder if ultimately all of our insecurities, however big or small, stem from lack of full trust in God?

I have been praying that God will help me more fully trust Him. Now that I see this link between insecurities & trust in Him, I will expand my prayers to include you - my sisters in Christ - as well.

His blessings to you,
April

Urgent prayer request

Ladies, please pray for our friend, Lynn. She has a concealed handgun license in Texas, but she is being charged with a misdemeanor in Ohio for having a concealed handgun. Please pray as the Lord guides you.

~crystal

Seriously Intense. . .

Wow! What a bible study! I'm really not sure that I've ever been part of such an open, honest group. I pray for those of us who are affected by unforgiveness and insecurities caused by past hurts. Our God is good, He is faithful and I know that He will work all of these things for His good. Thank you dear sisters in Christ for your friendship, advice and love. I can't wait to see you in a few weeks! I'll miss you so =0)

I haven't been posting the prayer requests since we're all together when we say them . . . let me know if you'd like me to keep posting them.

in His love,
crystal

ch 5 thoughts

I'm on my third day of reading chapter 5 now. I've had to break it into parts, because it is so difficult for me to handle. It lists categories of reasons why we could face insecurity in our lives, and so far each one has been true for me. Talk about bringing up & rehashing old stuff hidden in the back closets of my mind!

Last night, right after I finished crying out to God in anguish over some of it, and asking him to send someone to me with a message of hope for me, my sister sent the following in an email to me. I just now read it - it did not occur to me last night to check my email - I thought the phone would ring...

"We all need to trust God more. Sometimes we are strong and sometimes we struggle, but He is always faithful. Remember Elijah. One day he is standing up to all the prophets of Baal and asking God to send down fire. God sends fire. The next day he is hiding from Queen Jezebel who has promised to kill him. God sends angels to minister to him, and God himself speaks to him and restores him to duty. God does the same for us. He is like a good father teaching his child to walk. When we walk by faith, He cheers us on. When we loose our faith(balance) and fall, he is there to help us up and encourage us to walk again!"

God is so very good!!! Saturday night I lost my spiritual balance, and Sunday morning God sent me messages of hope & encouragement & restoration, helping me to stand back up & start to walk with Him again. Sunday (last) night I fell again, and once again He helped me back up. Thank you, God!!!

If you have fallen, my hope is that God reaches His strong hand down to you & helps you stand & walk again with Him today with renewed faith!

See you tonight,
April

Thank you for your prayers.

Thank you so much for your prayers for Tracie and me. Our grandpa, Arnie Quay Neesmith, passed away this morning. My entire family is grateful for your prayers. I cannot even begin to explain how fervently I prayed that he wouldn't suffer for a long time . . . I just looked back to see how long we've known about the cancer . . . it's been 10 days!!! I'd say that is pretty quick. The best part is that he was completely coherent and aware up until Thursday morning. God is so good. Please pray for my family over the next few days. None of us are very close, and I haven't seen my cousins since high school. There are lots of tempers and feelings that are easily hurt in the family so pray that all of us would be loving toward one another. The viewing is Thursday evening and the funeral is Friday morning.

in His love,
crystal

Tracie just called. Our Grandpa may not make it through the night :(

Chapter 3 . . .

Wow! I can't even begin to say how much chapter 3 reverberated my own life and my own struggles. My life changed a year and a half ago when our obedient pastor hired Mark and I to lead worship at Living Word Church of the Bay Area. LWCBA has been a source of healing for Mark and I in our ministry. I love to volunteer and serve our precious Lord and Savior, but I felt as though we were constantly taking shots for all kinds of ridiculous things, and yes, I know that my perception was probably a bit off. Mark and I were both wounded due to our pasts and we needed to be loved and accepted as the imperfect servants we were. Anyway, our pastor, in his wisdom, has all of his leaders take a much longer version of this Gary Smalley personality test. Can I just say that every single word in my 28! page profile described me to a tee! It was a little creepy. I scored 100% otter . . . here is the description of the otter:

People who primarily reflect the "O" or "Otter" scale tend to be…
• Fun-loving and very verbal, they love groups, parties, and activity - and especially getting
to "Yak, Yak, Yak!"
• Otters like change and are fast-paced and spontaneous.
• They are usually creative and often "non-detail" oriented, which is why they start projects
at the latest possible time. When it comes to balancing the checkbook, they would prefer
to just switch banks!

I tell you this about myself because I want to explain the pain that being an otter has caused in many pivotal relationships in my past, especially with other women.

This is the phrase that set me free:

Crystal has a tendency to: • Be so enthusiastic that she can be seen as superficial.

That was the first sentence under my areas for improvement. So many friends have treated me exactly like that girl Beth talks about in chapter 3, the funny thing is that I have no idea how they could see me as someone who "has it all," especially when I used to feel like I was so very far from having it all. I'm pretty sure that I teared up when I read this part of my personality assessment. I cannot even begin to tell you how many people have accused me of being superficial. I remember telling someone once that I would apologize for who I was, but that I could never apologize for who I wasn't. The thing that scared me the most was that there were so many people who said this that I was clearly the common denominator. I prayed so hard that God would change me and that others would see my heart . . . until I read that sentence. I'm not exactly sure why it brought me so much freedom, but it did and I'm so thankful to Gary Smalley for coming up with such an amazing assessment.

I am now able to recognize this as part of my personality, part of the way God made me for the good things He intended me to do. There were a lot of positive things in that personality test, and it felt so good to recognize those attributes in myself. I was focused on the negative, and I ignored the positive. My prayer as we go through this journey is that we will recognize the positive attributes in ourselves, and maybe even begin to notice the negative attributes in those around us so that we can apply grace, love and forgiveness. i love you ladies and I very much look forward to next week!

in His love,
crystal

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda . . .

Tracie just called and told me that they are putting my grandpa on hospice care, which makes me happy that his suffering will hopefully be short, but sad at the same time. Where did all of the years go? Why did I stop visiting as often as I used to? I could have and should have made more of an effort to play an active role in his life in the nursing home, but I didn't. I am thankful that my children know him and that he knows my children. I'm thankful that God brought Laura into my life and gave her the desire to encourage me to visit my grandparents. I am thankful that my Jesus is my grandpa's Savior. God is so good to us.

I sang at my friend's grandpa's funeral the day I found out that my grandpa had cancer, which was surreal. Funny enough, I'm sure that day prepared me for my own grandpa's funeral. Friday, I'm singing at the same friend's grandma's funeral, can you imagine dying within a week of your spouse of however many years? What a blessing.

I'm sorry for those of you who have lost loved ones, and I'm sorry for those of you who will lose loved ones, but always remember that God is in control. When you feel lost and alone, He is there for you, in the good times and the bad times. Thank you guys for being my friend. Thank you for allowing me to vent. Thank you for the wonderful fellowship the other night.

in His love,
crystal

Thank You!

I just wanted to take a minute to thank all of you ladies at bible study for sharing your deepest insecurities with me and for trusting me with them. I love you all and hope that our season together is LONG!

I pray you all ENOUGH...
Love in Christ,
Lynn